My heart is drenched in sobriety for Tiwa Savage and Tunji Balogun. A two year old marriage crumbles like a pack of cards… Albeit all the money, success, glitz and glam, yet, both were not happy.
Whatever their differences; they shouldn’t have washed their dirty linens in public. Tiwa should have just shushed it. Albeit the allegation of infidelity, she should have just protected her celebrity image by ignoring the public. She owes nobody explanations about her private life. Her private life should remain private! The video she put out there will do nothing but damage her already dented career- No Thanks to her husband who rubbished her on Instagram.
So many women are going through a lot of hell in marriage. So many married women who smile and post family picture perfect moments on social media are dying in pain and misery. Worse off, our culture frowns at women divorcees and that is why many women suffocate in sorrowful marriages for the rest of their lives. My heart beats for the career women who have to keep up with the Muscle and at the same time, walk on eggshells, making sure they don’t hurt the ego of their husbands.
Now this is why a woman should marry a man she loves. A woman shouldn’t marry a man because he built her career. A woman shouldn’t marry just any man because she is desperate to settle down. A woman shouldn’t marry any man because he is rich or can buy her the world. A woman shouldn’t marry a man because he’s got six packs and can give good sex.
A woman should marry for love. A woman in love builds her home. A woman in love, even if she is richer will not oppress her husband or disrespect him. A woman in love can endure. A woman in love can tolerate. Sometimes, Foolishness is a powerful weapon in marriage. A wise woman will use tears to break down her husband’s rigidness. A wise woman will use humility to remould her husband to be a better man. She may seem foolish, but she is in control.
Also, sometimes it is not wise for a woman to marry her age mate, a man who acts childishly or a man who likes the bling bling. A woman should marry a man who acts maturely. If Tunji were mature, he wouldn’t come to social media to rubbish his wife, even if she cheated. If Tunji were mature, he wouldn’t have opted to commit suicide. No matter the emotional pressure, no man should allow a woman push him to want to take his own life! How about leaving her and moving on to the next good woman? Tunji still loves his wife, to the extent he was ready to commit suicide because of her!
If Tiwa was in love with her husband, she wouldn’t have done that video to retaliate by exposing all their dirty secrets further. If Tiwa was in love with her husband, even after he rubbished her on Instagram, saying she cheated and even called her mom a witch, she would have simply kept mute. It is better to be a king of your silence than to be a slave of your words. More so, the video she put out there will haunt her forever because the internet never forgets. Her Silence would have vindicated her. Her Silence would have made her Career soar because Nigerians love mystery. People are interested in and attracted to what they cannot grasp or understand. If she had remained Quiet, millions of people would rush to watch her next new video because they would be snooping to find out clues about her marital issues in her music videos, shows etc.
All I see in their union is COMPETITION. I wish this couple can heal. I wish Nigerians could give this couple a break and stop judging and nagging them. Their friends should start their healing process by tricking both of them and locking them up in a room for three days… If they truly love each other, they will reconcile. Yes, they will scream and shout and fight and then make love… I believe in the healing power of Love Making after a Break Up. Perhaps, their affection may be renewed after this ritual because currently, both are broken, miserable, lonely and looking for closure.
This couple should forgive each other. Nigerians supporting their divorce are devils. Marriage is for better for worse.
I wish Tiwa would kneel down and beg her husband for forgiveness whether she is guilty or not. He is her husband. He is her head. She is bound by God, marriage and culture to be the humble partner. And Tunji loves her, else, he wouldn’t have opted to commit suicide because of her. She can build back that love again. Her staying humble and learning to be a good wife to him will restore his pride as a man and help him get back on his feet again. So many career women have dumped their careers to commit to marriages. So career ain’t everything. Forget oyibo style, a woman’s pride is her Husband and not Career. Let us not drown in westernisation and its shenanighans and be deceived. We are Africans. Tiwa should balance Career with Family Life. Her renewed affection towards him will make him change and become a better husband to her. Money does not guarantee happiness and money will not cuddle her at midnights.
Unless she is truly fed up and really wants to walk away, then Divorce is welcome.